Woodwork

I think it's important to have an interest. Everybody needs something creative to do, to be able to express themselves, and to have the satisfaction that they've created something unique and beautiful. And, if you're a bloke, something that people can fill shops with - gadgets you can use in your hobby and fill your shed with.

And there's something deeply fulfilling in working with natural materials. You experience a close connection with nature, a sense of belonging to a wider whole. The scent and texture of wood call to something deep in us - we love the smell of pine and the feel of a nicely finished piece of timber.

Which is why I can't understand why the fashion victim and his missus can't appreciate a work of art when they see it. It didn't take me long to create, I'll grant you, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. It's good to recycle or remodel things, and you'd think they'd be pleased with a unique creation as opposed to one knocked up in a pine factory - but no, apparently not.

Anyway, I'll let you draw your own conclusions. I'm sure you'll agree that woodwork is just another one of my many talents, and that my sense of form and flow have only added grace and beauty to an otherwise humdrum piece. Take a look at the picture.........

Down wiv Skool

Huh. I've been had! Conned! Tricked! Mugged!

I'd just got nicely settled in with all the humans doing my every bidding when along comes the fashion victim clutching a book, a bag of biscuits and a blue clicky thing.

"Come on Barney" says he, in that oh so irritating encouraging voice he's read about, "let's go in the garden!"

And so it began. He's walking up and down the lawn, patting his leg as though his trousers were on fire, giving it "Come on lad!" Every time I went anywhere near him there's this almighty CLICK noise, which makes me sit down with surprise. But then, guess what - whenever I sit down, he gives me a biscuit! GOT HIM!!!!  I thought I was having to go to school and do boring lessons, but all I do is get him to feed me!

Anyway, afternoon lesson. My new collar gets clipped to a lead. Normally I like a Tarzan session on the end of that, but with the puppy food being a bit boring I was fancying a change and I GOT HIM AGAIN! He's still patting away as if he's trying to find a fiver he's lost out of his pocket and wandering around like a person who can't remember where they are but, sure enough, when I just mogg about close to him CLICK and he gives me a treat. It's lovely to see his face when he can fire the clicker - simple things please simple minds I suppose - and I get him to give me a slice of sausage!