'Kinell what a Kennel

Hi! I'm still here! Obviously you'll have missed me, but it's been all go in the Barneysphere for the past few weeks. A guy has to have a base - you know, somewhere to go back to after all the pats and petting, when all the twolegs are worn out from going "aah", somewhere to escape from the Puparazzi. So, given that I'm a craftsdog supreme, I've been engaged in a design and build project to make sure I live in the lap of luxury such as befits my very good self.

Builders - believe verything you hear about them. Obviously on a large scale design and build project you have to take charge of the budget and project management aspects, but I can't be expected to be doing all the graft, even though I'm a pretty neat woodworker, as you know. SO I've had to enroll some help. Hm. What I wanted was a couple of geezers who could claim not to be cowboys - what I got was the Lone Ranger and Tonto in the form of the fashion victim and his mate Wilbur.

Now don't get me wrong - these are as fine a pair of twolegs as you'd find in their trousers, and they did work hard, even in the rain. But you have to accept the fact that when they get together they're as daft as brushes - they must be: their particular heroes are the Chuckle Brothers. I ask you - ask me!

I think the final construction is environmentally friendly, but I'm not sure when you think about the number of trips to B&Q for forgotten items that the fashion victim had to take. I don't know how many trees I'll have to wee up to cancel my carbon footprint!

Anyhow, that's the finished article in the picture above. A little bijou pad with a pleasant outlook. Nice sleeping quarters and plenty of space to work out & flex the pecs or just relax. If you want something similar, send a message to me - to you! Then you can suffer Wilbur and the fashion victim for a weekend..............

Woodwork

I think it's important to have an interest. Everybody needs something creative to do, to be able to express themselves, and to have the satisfaction that they've created something unique and beautiful. And, if you're a bloke, something that people can fill shops with - gadgets you can use in your hobby and fill your shed with.

And there's something deeply fulfilling in working with natural materials. You experience a close connection with nature, a sense of belonging to a wider whole. The scent and texture of wood call to something deep in us - we love the smell of pine and the feel of a nicely finished piece of timber.

Which is why I can't understand why the fashion victim and his missus can't appreciate a work of art when they see it. It didn't take me long to create, I'll grant you, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. It's good to recycle or remodel things, and you'd think they'd be pleased with a unique creation as opposed to one knocked up in a pine factory - but no, apparently not.

Anyway, I'll let you draw your own conclusions. I'm sure you'll agree that woodwork is just another one of my many talents, and that my sense of form and flow have only added grace and beauty to an otherwise humdrum piece. Take a look at the picture.........

Down wiv Skool

Huh. I've been had! Conned! Tricked! Mugged!

I'd just got nicely settled in with all the humans doing my every bidding when along comes the fashion victim clutching a book, a bag of biscuits and a blue clicky thing.

"Come on Barney" says he, in that oh so irritating encouraging voice he's read about, "let's go in the garden!"

And so it began. He's walking up and down the lawn, patting his leg as though his trousers were on fire, giving it "Come on lad!" Every time I went anywhere near him there's this almighty CLICK noise, which makes me sit down with surprise. But then, guess what - whenever I sit down, he gives me a biscuit! GOT HIM!!!!  I thought I was having to go to school and do boring lessons, but all I do is get him to feed me!

Anyway, afternoon lesson. My new collar gets clipped to a lead. Normally I like a Tarzan session on the end of that, but with the puppy food being a bit boring I was fancying a change and I GOT HIM AGAIN! He's still patting away as if he's trying to find a fiver he's lost out of his pocket and wandering around like a person who can't remember where they are but, sure enough, when I just mogg about close to him CLICK and he gives me a treat. It's lovely to see his face when he can fire the clicker - simple things please simple minds I suppose - and I get him to give me a slice of sausage!

Family Matters

Hi again. I'm not one to brag, but this is my Dad. As you can see, he's a bit of a top dog. The silverware is from Field Trials, because he's a champion!

He lives in the North East, near the 'Boro, close to the sea at Carlin How. Nearly as handsome as me, eh?

I'm not ashamed.....

Well, I've settled in quite well now in Hull. The humans are getting used to doing what I want them to do - all it takes is a small chew or pathetic pose and they scurry round after me.

The only thing I'm a bit worried about is the boss human. He's alright, but I'm not looking forward to going out for a walk with him.

It's not that he's not nice - far from it, but judging by his fashion sense I think it's a guide dog he needs, not a gundog!

Here he is. He says at least his hair was kept dry. All his mates say he looks like a twit.

Obviously, being a faithful hound, I keep my thoughts to myself................

Hello everyone

Hi everyone, and welcome to my blog!

I bet you're impressed - how many ten week old Cocker Spaniels do you know that can operate their own netbook and create a blog? Not many I expect.......

Anyway, this blog is to keep you all up to date with my growth and progress. I've trained my pet humans to take photos of me regularly. If I ever master YouTube I might be able to add videos, but one step at a time!

I'll also be adding my thoughts - not that they're too demanding at the moment (bones, bed, poo, wee....)

Enjoy!